If your “to do list” is managing you and you not it, chances are you might be working up some rage. I personally struggle with this. I have often thought if I could just get control of my anger I would be much happier. So what is my anger style? The classic explosive style. It starts out quiet and over time simmers like a volcano then erupts!
By mid-week, I felt my myself blaming others (mainly my husband) for the frustration I was feeling over the lack of control I have in my schedule currently. In all honesty, I just wanted someone to blame and an outlet to release the growing anger I have been feeling over no spare time for me.
The funny thing was that I was even discussing this with my hubby (before we rushed off to a cross country meet). We agreed that the key to getting things done is to start with the personal things first. Most responsible people are not going to let their business tasks slide. No arguments over this… In fact the leadership course my husband is taking challenges participants to consider their personal tasks and goals first.
So what was my problem?
The personal tasks I have been focused on lately are cooking, volunteering and running around to see my kids. They created a sense of accomplishment but not deep internal personal enjoyment I need. These tasks while important weren’t releasing ENOUGH good feelings this week.
What I needed was something to punch.
So I went to a boxing class for the very first time and man I felt so much better.
Here is a bit more on explosive anger and how to control it.
Anger Style: Explosive
What it looks like: “If you leave your jacket on the floor one more time, I’m leaving you!” It may take a lot to push you over the edge, but when you get there, the earth shakes and people run for cover.
Why you might do it: If you were never taught how to deal with irritation, you may habitually swallow it until you can swallow no more. Eventually, your top will blow. Some people are anger junkies, who get off on the adrenaline rush of an emotional explosion, not to mention the fact that the onslaught can mean they get their way?at least in the short term.
The damage: It is virtually impossible to feel empathy and anger simultaneously, so in the heat of the moment, you are more likely to say and do overly harsh things that you later regret.
How to Turn It Around
- Wait it out. “Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds,” says Ronald Potter-Efron, Ph.D., an anger-management specialist in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, and a coauthor of Letting Go of Anger. Beyond that, it takes a commitment to stay angry. Mentally recite the Pledge of Allegiance or count to 10 and see if the urge to explode has diminished.
- Own your emotions. A simple rephrasing of your feelings can help you feel more in control. ”I’m really upset by your behavior” is much more effective and empowering than %#*&@!.
Want to explore other types of Anger? READ MORE AT REAL SIMPLE
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