How I Learned to Love Myself and My Work Again

I went through a very rough patch in 2013. I had seriously lost my workin’ mojo. I was tired, depressed and unsure if I had made the right decisions about my life and career path. If I am completely honest, this indecision and sadness started when the first year I started my business when my husband had suddenly lost his job. I was scared and never really got passed it. So in November of 2014, I decided I needed to take a step back after two back to back conferences and just focus a bit more on my family and self care. It worked.

Here are my lessons:

• Give yourself space

Not sure where you should be going with your life or career? Riddled with guilt that you are doing too much or too little? Unsure of next steps? Give yourself permission to focus on what will make you feel better. Trust me that you will know inside yourself what to do NOW (maybe not next week or next year but that’s okay) Focus on NOW. Seek solitude or seek the help you need. You will know where the answers need to come from. For me, it was solitude at first, and when I did need the support of others I took some time to decide who really had the best intentions to show me guidance that I needed and was in line with my values. 

• Find true purpose and love for what you are doing with your life and if can’t find it – change it.

It was inspiring to read that “Women entrepreneurs are among the Happiest Women in the World”.  I completely see this now. However, it was hard to admit that for sometime I definitely did not fit into that category.  Which is really hard when you run an business that focuses around promoting entrepreneurship. I was really burned out and  because of my intense need for security (which was causing me major insecurity).  I was worried about dental bills, lack of pension and honestly, it didn’t take much for me to become teary eyed. I felt stupid for feeling this way and wondered if I wasn’t working hard enough and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t feeling motivated to work harder. Also, I felt torn in a thousand directions and felt guilty all the time. My marriage also felt very rocky as well. All the indecision was really starting to get to my husband. So for about a month I took as much of a break as I could. When I did start to feel stronger I decided to surround myself with supportive people and get back to my original mission – to help and serve others. As soon as I changed my mindset I felt a lot better. My work had true purpose that was motivating. I like to think that through “fate” I found myself face to face with  Teresa Kruze (thanks Jennifer Beale) and Ellen Campbell, who is the CEO for the Canadian Centre for Abuse Awareness . This amazing woman received the Order of Canada  for all the work she has done for abuse victim support and advocating for their rights.

To say I felt honoured in  her presence is an understatement. The work that she has done for victims of abuse, anti-bulling and the empowerment of women floors me. So I got together with Ellen and we brainstormed how I could come up a plan to support women who need our help the most. This is what we came up with:

• 1% of funds raised through the 2014 Women in Biz Conference and 2014 WIBN memberships are going to be donated to the “Delivering Hope Program”  through the “Make Over for A  Day Program”.
  
• Donations of our women’s memberships will also be donated by Ellen team at the Canadian Centre for Abuse Awareness to women who could benefit from receiving our assistance and lack the funds to invest in our yearly membership (which includes 1 hour of business or career coaching)

Giving back like this gives me purpose and that makes all the difference to me right now.

3. Focus on the positives and look for ways to simplify so you can concentrate more on the true purpose of your business and your values which will result in greater happiness (this is why they say women are the happiest)

My wonderful friends Danielle and Amy from Spark Consulting  graciously took me out for lunch – just as I was recovering from my work depression. They gave me some wise advice. “Pretend you are selling your company and list the things you would tell the new owner to give up or do differently.” I have been doing that and it really helps. By streamlining and not working to the point of burnout during my conference seasons I am allowing myself the strength to focus on my true purpose to help women in need of help with their lives and businesses regardless of sociology-economic status. This feels right to me and fuels my purpose and gives me drive.

Bottom Line lesson for myself  has been not to panic or sweat the small stuff. I won’t let anyone run me ragged anymore.  I give myself permission to find my joy and desire again (and will continue to check in on that every quarter and yearly) and I focus on daily gratitude for my happiness and the benefits of being my own boss. The freedom, flexibility, life lessons, new skills and the lack of glass ceiling are extremely motivating to me now and when the little guilt or doubt engine rears its ugly head I tell it to piss off.

Events to help you with the above:

• Desire Map Monthly Meeting – Free Community Event to get at the Heart of What You Need Out of Your Life – Tuesday, February 18th
• Passion to Profit Conference  – Monday April 28th, 2014